... not GOOD ENOUGH!

Imagine things like this in your life. First, you got a few A's in the final exam. Maybe you think that it is not so bad. Let’s twist this story a little bit by imagining you, in spite of those A's; you also got a D, in history!!!!!

Or try this- you hang out with your friends. You know that your parents are not going to like it as your friends here, enjoy loitering in the malls, smoking, and generally do stupid things. Your mom’s friend saw you one day. To make things spicy, she is not just telling your mom, she tells everyone- so much like CNN really.

Nightmare huh? Let’s not stop there. Think of how your parents might react. They might scold you or stop giving you allowance, or even worst, you’re grounded for life.

In this situation, should you blame others- Teachers; Friends; Your parents; God; or the CNN Auntie? Hey, what about yourself?

I don’t think that blaming others or yourself is really the right thing to do. You can’t blame your parents. Of course they are mad of you when they have spent a lot of money on your education- school fees, private tuition, books, school needs. They are not cheap you know. How do you repay them? Bad grade is it? No way. Repay them with those annoying words from the CNN auntie? I don’t think so.

You can’t blame your friends too. They have no right to force you to join them. Why hanging out with the useless friends in the first place. If they should not be blamed, then is it the teachers? The answer is absolutely not. If you are the one who never finishes the homework, who always disturbs the class or never show up at school, I can’t see the rational of blaming the teachers.

I’m posting this not to under estimate you, my fellow friends. I just want you to realize that the world does not care to help you unless you want to help yourself first. If you think that you have done your best, please REMEMBER this- it is still not GOOD ENOUGH!

Fear Factor, in school?

Believe it or not, Fear Factor in school is fun, and exciting, and hilarious, and effective, and joyful, and….. Alright, alright, I’ll stop.

Sorry if I bothered you. Ok, let me tell you how and what exactly is Fear Factor in school. My English for Science and Technology (EST) teacher assigned us into 5 groups. Each group have to do some kind of show-and-tell with one of these creatures– cockroaches, worms, millipede, frog and spiders. And after that, the ‘lucky’ person will get the chance to hold the organisms.

We voted, and my group got frog. We got the information we needed from Wikipedia, and that was it, mainly because we did the research a few minutes before the EST class. Yeah, I know. Last minute job is not perfect, but all of us were busy with our own tasks, and at least we got the info on time.

First, we showed the frog in front of the class. The frog was brought by Wana. She is the only one who went home last weekend. The rest of us chose to spend the short 3-days break at the hostel. Anyway, there are a lot of interesting facts about frog that I never know before. Facts such as many frogs contain mild toxin, in other word, they are poisonous.

After that, we chose Faris who is obviously afraid of frogs. He showed his bravery and accepted our challenge to hold the frog for a while. I felt pity for the frog though because he held it quite hard, it seemed like he’s going to squeeze the frog to death.

Anyway, this activity is extremely the best of all EST class because I got the chance to face my fear. Worms! I volunteered to hold them. I felt their cold and soft body, and it was the first time that I think worms are cute.

There were a lot of hilarious scenes, including the time when our class president accidentally crushed a cockroach. Luckily the group brought 2 cockroaches. And it was funny when Zaini threw a worm onto Farhanah’s desk. Oh, I can’t describe how angry Farhanah has gotten due to that incident.

The group with millipede got my respect when they worked hard to find one. My friend couldn’t sleep until she found one. I like their spirit. However, the millipede they got is quite small. I’ve got the chance to see and touch a bigger one last year at FRIM. It was so big that I couldn’t believe that it was just a millipede.

However, the group who should show-and-tell spiders failed to do so. They said they couldn’t find any spider. Yeah, right. I don’t think so, because I’ve bumped into a lot of spiders, of any size and species. I was quite disappointed because spider is like my favourite among the 5 organisms.

Anyway, I like this kind of thing. Don’t you think that it would be boring if we learned all this from just the books?

Truth is bitter, NOT!

Have you ever felt something weird enough, that your brain is getting too much nerve and from the bottom of your heart, it feels so wrong? Wow, it’s a long question. Seriously, have you?

Well, I have. And here is a story about ME! (Funny, I sounded like Kuzco). About 2 years ago, my teacher said something (as usual) in the assembly. And that time he was talking about the importance of making early preparation for an exam. He said something about you will never know if you are going to be sick on the day before the exam, so it is better to start revising now.

I never intended to make fun of his advice but I basically did that. I said I never have a problem to ace my exam even if I did my revision the day before an exam. My bad, I know. Everything went wrong from then on. I always get fever during exam weeks; it is so bad that I couldn’t pay much attention on the books, and worst, I couldn't answer properly because all I want is to rest.

You can’t imagine how bad it feels during the end of the year exam, then PMR, and you know what, this year, I got fever 5 times (during all 5 exam)! I don’t know whether it has something to do with my rudeness or maybe just because I’m weak. All I can think about is that God wants to show me that being rude is NO GOOD.

I started to feel guilty when I realized the fact that maybe it would hurt the teacher’s feeling if he had heard me at that time. I told my mom about this and she suggested me to tell him the truth and say that I’m sorry. It’s kind of hard since I’ve transferred to MJSC Taiping, so I’ll have to go to his house. Of course it will be easier to just give him a call, but I don’t think that it is a good idea.

I never got the chance until yesterday. I was there, right in front of his house. He was just home after the Friday’s prayer. I greeted him and told everything, and I apologized. He smiled and didn’t show any sign of anger. I wasn’t paying much attention because I was busy restraining myself from crying but I think he said something like he would forgive everyone before going to bed everyday because we would never know when we’ll die. Maybe you don’t see the connection, but I do.

He said not to worry since he has forgiven me a long time ago. It is a relief and you can’t imagine how great it felt. People say that truth is bitter. I don’t think so because it is SWEET!

To all of you out there, I advice you to spill out the truth; it really lowers your burden. And please be careful and think more than twice before you say something. Who knows you might get into trouble, just like I did.

Hakuna Matata?

Have you ever watch The Lion King 3: Hakuna Matata? If you had, remember what Rafiki told Timon? He said: “Look beyond what you see”. Of course it is funny (and cute) that Timon takes it literally. Anyway, I’m telling you this to make your brain there think and look around us, take a look beyond what you see.

Now, what am I talking about? Let me make this easy for everyone. I believe that every single organism on the Earth has something that we should think about. And this is where we can apply the concept.

Take a look at ants for instant. They are social insects and they are well-organized colonies. Please take note that these ants will do anything and everything, just to find food. It’ll travel far, far away to search for food. And if it can’t lift it up on its own, the others will come along and help out. Isn’t it beautiful?

And that’s not all. I’ve seen them so strong. They’ll hold on and never give up easily. My mom planted a mango tree in front of our house, and there’s a lot of weaver ants (is that what they’re called in English?). One day, I was trying to clean a dustbin, which is surrounded by many of these ants. I sprayed the bin with water. And they just don’t know how to let go. I gave up and left the bin for some time, hoping they’ll go away.

I think that people should adapt these values in their life. Every time I’m feeling down, I’ll never let go. I can go on talking about the values we can learn from ants, but I prefer for you to think about it and look beyond what you see.

Let’s see another example. Take a look at camels. I’ve seen and touched them in Saudi Arabia 2 years ago, and I kind of like them (besides their smells). Camels are able to withstand changes in body temperature and water content that would kill most other animals, which means they can survive in the dessert without water for 2 weeks.

Camels are very useful when they once helped human beings to travel in the dessert. In turn, human take a good care of them. All I can see here is it is important for us to help weaker person because we’ll need their help someday, just like the camels did.

There are a lot more things to see. Iguana, orang utan, crocodile, and dolphin, just name it and look beyond what you see. And you’ll find that the colour of life is beautiful. Good luck!

Change is good

For those who have been reading my previous posts, I guess you know that I’m studying in a boarding school, right? I went miles away from my hometown, but I do get closer to my parents’ hometown though.

Anyway, being away in a totally new environment and being able to see a lot of new stuffs has changed me, and I really mean it. Well, not the entire me, I’m still the same kid but my perspective have changed. I used to be loud and enjoy myself wasting my time doing and talking about useless things with my friends.

All of this have changed when I learnt that I can’t afford to waste my time because I have a bunch of homework and yet too much duty as a SDB member. Every great mind there is focusing on their goals, which are clear. They all want to succeed in life, to be somebody important. I don’t want to be left out. I mean, come on, do you want to be the loser?

Friends? Well, if you’re not in the same class with them, you’re not going to spend much time with them except on the weekends or public holidays. You’ll spend more time with your classmates though, so you’ll have trouble if you don’t get along well. And people really don’t care about your problems because they got their own problems too. So, unless you’re really in big trouble, or you really need someone to be there for you, forget about advertising your problems. All you need to do is to be brave and work it out by yourself.

However, do not misunderstand us. We have a lot of good values in there though. I discovered that I can do a lot of things if I put myself into it. I can debate (although it’s not that good), I can lead others and myself, I can present my projects well, and I learn to cooperate with others (including the person I like the least).

Besides that, I learnt that if you want something, go for it. Choices determine human destiny, not chances. When I see there’s a chance, I choose to grab it immediately because there’s a lot more other talented and brilliant people out there seeking for their chance.

The most important thing of all is that I’ve been inspired to make my parents proud of me. During the graduation day of Form 5 students, we, SDB, had to accompany and assist their parents. I had the chance to talk to some of them and a parent (I don’t even know him) touched my heart when he said that my father would be proud of me. I can see it in his face; he was very proud of his son (or maybe daughter, I never asked). I want my father to have the same look too. To make that happen, I won’t waste my time anymore.

I don’t care how hard I have to work as long as I try. And that is a promise. I’m no longer the kid who’s lost and don’t know her purpose in life because I’ve travel to a place like no other.

weird facts about me...

My behavior... I have to admit that I do weird things. Well, everybody does, right? In my case, I love to talk to animals. Cats especially. I talk about my problems, feelings, thoughts, curiosity, desires and express myself to animals, any kind of animals. It can be a monkey, a bird, or maybe a cow. The reason is I don't really trust people, and sometimes they are not here to listen to me. Animals can be a good listener and of course they can keep secrets. Sometimes I even talk about what I learn in school. I think that this is a good way to do revision. ;p

My character... I'm not sure but many of my friends told me that I'm not the same person they thought I would be. I mean, when they first met me, they'll think of me as a typical city girl, who cannot do her job on her own, and a lot of other impression. What could I say, I'm not really friendly with people on the first meeting. Again, it's because I don't really trust people easily. I'm not sure whether this is good or bad, but at least i don't harm people.

What I like... I like adventure. I mean even though I'm not that physically fit, I still enjoy outdoor activities like riding bicycle, hiking, jungle trekking, and some other stuffs. I think it is nice to be close to nature. And I can assure you that Malaysian rainforests is really nice.

I don't like wasting my time for something I hate. I hate people who don't know how to be punctual. Time is gold. I can understand if people were late because of traffic jammed or maybe any other obstacles, but I can't tolerate people who were late because they woke up late, or because they don't know what to wear, or because they spent 2 hours in the shower.

Feeling down?

I cleaned the house today and guess what; I found an old book of mine which contains all the pearls of wisdom I’ve ever heard. I thought it would be nice to share some of them with all of you. Who knows, it might lift up your spirit to live.

If you didn’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. –Aparajito Sen-

Do what you can with what you have right where you are. –Henry Truman-

Never advertise your troubles; there’s no market for them. –Anonymous-

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophesy –Brian Tracy-

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. –Arnold H. Glasow-

I am only one but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something I’ll not neglect that something I can do. – Helen Keller-

If you follow your dreams, strive to make them come true, then life’s sure to bring all the best things to you. –Anonymous-

The best rose bush after all is not that which has the fewest thorns, but that which bears the finest roses. –Henry Van Oyke-

Even if you’re on the right track, if you stand still you’ll get run over by the next train. –Will Rogers-

The thing that always happens is that of what you really believe in; and the belief in a thing is what makes it happen. –Frank Lloyd Wright-

Don’t attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself; but don’t relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you. –Stewart E. White-

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road. –Dag Hammarskjold-

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. –Mark Twain-

Self-discipline is defined here as self-control, self-restraint, self-reliance, and independence. It is the training and controlling of oneself, and of one’s habits and conduct, for the sake of personal improvement. Self-discipline is the ability to do what is right even when no one is around to instruct a person what to do. –Anonymous-

Bat?

One day, I went back to hostel as usual after school is over. I went to pick up my towel which was hanging outside and I saw some of my friends were surrounding something. My curiosity led me closer to them, and soon enough I was right in the middle of them. My heart was like being struck by lightning to see a helpless, tiny bat in the drain. The drain was full of water because it rained in the morning. The bat even broke one of its wings. My friends were trying to get it out of there but all of them were too afraid to touch it by bare hand.

I have a passion for wild creatures that I quickly got the bat out of the drain without even thinking of it as a threat. I put it aside and went inside to get ready for prep class. However, I couldn’t just leave the poor creature there, so I decided to take care of it. I fed it with some nuts before I left it under my bed. Only then, I went to class again.

I doubted that it could survive after I heard my friend’s confession. She said that the bat was flying in her dorm and scared some girls. Somehow they hit the bat, and it hit the fan which is the reason why its wing was broken. Then, they threw the poor creature outside of the window. What? Their dorm is on the second floor. That was a pretty cruel act.

My heart was pounding hard during the prep class. I dashed back to the hostel when the bell rang. And I couldn’t control myself when I saw it not moving anymore. It’s dead. I guess it couldn’t survive after spending a few hours in the drain, with broken wing, cold and definitely no food. I touched the dead body for the last time and examined its anatomy before I left it on the backyard of our hostel. I’m not sure but I think it is the Malayan Flying Fox, but it was quite small. Anyway, I lost the most wonderful creature that I’ve ever got involve with.

I think that people should really start to develop their love for animals. If I’m correct that it is a Malayan Flying Fox, then you should know that the population of these bats is declining in most countries due to hunting and urbanization. These animals are hunted for food and medical purposes. Farmers kill them as pests, for they sometimes feast on planted fruit, causing extensive damage to plantations. They are also killed by people who fear them as carriers of disease. So, why hurt even one of them?

It’s meaningless if…

William Shakespeare wrote Life’s Brief Candle for one of his famous play, Macbeth.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death.

Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more.

It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing - (Act 5, Scene 5, lines 17-27).

Here, Macbeth is full of despair, and he is seeing life as a story and death as a natural occurrence that is to be welcomed.

I personally think that life is nothing if we don’t believe in something. If you don’t believe in yourself, would you be able to succeed in life? If you don’t believe in your partner, would you be able to live a happy life? If you don’t believe in God, would you be able to feel the peace?

If we don’t believe in something, life is absolutely nothing. It’s meaningless. We’ll be nothing but actors in a play, where our world become the stage.