Sunday, December 23, 2007

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

There is this old photograph of me standing in front of our previous house in JB, which my parents absolutely adored. In this particular photo, I was holding a pink umbrella on one hand, and one of my favorite cuddly toy on my other hand. This cuddly toy previously belonged to my older sister. When she grew up (she’s 10 years older than me), she gave it to my other older sister (who is 5 years older than me). And by the time this photo was taken, the cuddly toy finally belongs to me. From the looks of my expressions in the photo, I seemed very happy and probably of the fact that my mom was holding the camera, focusing on me. I had this smile across my face that shined with personality and gave the picture a bit of innocence.

What innocence and decent times those were; I was yet unaware of the cruel realities of life. Everything was care free and easy. I pretty much do my own thing. This includes spending almost every minute of my early days in front of the television. Power Rangers, Ultraman, and Kampung Boy are my favorites. I sure miss the days with countless hours doing absolutely nothing stressful; I would give anything to be a child again.

As a little kid, I used to be happy and active. I have countless scars on almost every part of my body due to my mischievous act. I didn’t mind when people laugh at me since all I care is having fun.

Thirteen years later, my parents took another photo that they absolutely cherish. It was the same star, it’s me but this time I’ve become taller, and gained extra weight too. The cuddly toy that used to be my buddy is nowhere to be found since I don’t have any younger sister to pass it on.

I’m no longer interested in Power Rangers or any other action-figure. I get headaches whenever my little brothers or my nephews get their hands on the remote control. I lead an inactive lifestyle since I am too busy trying to improve my grades and to impress people. I rarely do what I really want to do since I am scared of what other people might think of me.

Nowadays, whenever I look at my old photographs or watch my nephews and little brothers, I think back at how great those times were when I was a kid. It’s quite sarcastic that as a kid you always want to grow up fast so that people treat you differently and hear your voice. However, when you grow up you wish you could turn back the time.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering- and it’s all over much too soon. –Woody Allen-

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